A Strange One
The bleeding, oh god the bleeding.  I had first noticed it around 10:30 pm and cleaned it up the best I could.  I didn't check again until about 2:30 am but sure enough, it hadn't let up.  Again, I cleaned it up as best I could.  I turned to the Sherriff, a handsome black man in his mid to late 30's, and raised my brow.  "I certainly didn't expect this.  I mean, it's an understood possibility for obvious reasons, but, I guess I still just wasn't expecting it.  Especially not this bad for this long."
"You gonna be alright?"
"Oh yeah I'm fine."
"You sure?  Does it hurt?"  The sheriff had taken in interest in my discomfort.  I think he was just worried it might affect his pay.
"You know, to be honest I don't really feel it.  I think my stomach's more queezy thinking about the blood than anything."
"You're one tough son of a bitch.  And I'm not just referring to the bleeding, but also what you've put me through the past 6 hours."  We both laughed at this, and the Sherriff took off his Cowboy hat and put it on top of my head, tilted forward over my eyes.
8:00 pm.  I got into my car and began driving around downtown Sacramento.  It's not exactly the first place that comes to mind when you think "anything goes" but after you spend 15 years there, you learn that anything does go, you just have to know where to look.  In fact, it only took me all of 20 minutes to find the Sherriff.  I knew he was my type the minute I saw him.  I'd never seen a black man sport a cowboy hat and a brown leather duster so well.  I let him in the car, where I had ESPN Radio on.  "Can you believe the Kings sacked Reggie Theus?"
"What?  Just cos I'm black I'm supposed to know everything about the NBA?  I'd of thunk my hat woulda been a dead fucking giveaway that I MIGHT not keep up with that sorta shit."
I smirked.  "Well, that and your vocation."  If synchronized laughter was an olympic sport, we coulda taken gold.

"Ahhh my son... how good... to see your face... one last time."
"Dad you shouldn't talk like that."
If the life hadn't been drained from my body so rapidly over the last 3 years, the nurse would have been another witness to the way my face lights up when I see my son.
"So how do I look?"
"You look sharp, Dad.  Real sharp."
"Don't lie to me numbnuts." we smirked
"Don't you dare speak to my son that way.  Not now."  Ah yes, I was just starting to forget that my bitch ex-wife was in the room.  Truth-be-told, she was far from being a bitch.  She was also far from being calm, and I'd divorced her stress-ridden soul 10 year earlier.  Although no person who could give me a child like mine could be all that bad.
"Greta... if you don't shut up... I'm gonna take you out back... and screw you."
"You'd like that wouldn't you?"
"Nope.  But even on his deathbed... a man's gotta do what a man's... gotta do."  Oops, throwing in the "D" word had made the room fall deathly ill.  Oh no wait, that was me.  The room was deathly silent.  I broke the silence.  It was time to give Greta the truth she most likely already suspected.  "Son, give your mother and I... a couple of minutes... alone."
"Alright but, do keep it PG, will yah?"
"You know I can't make... a promise like that."  He smiled, kissed me on the forehead, and left the room.
"Even now, in the state you're in, you've got a mouth like a sailor and your mind in the gutter.  Well this was bound to happen with the way you live, you know that right?  I knew you didn't divorce me because of how much I worry, that just didn't make sense.  Now I ha-"
"WOMAN!!  Silence... the way you're yapping, even now... should be evidence enough of my reason... for leaving."  Two, maybe three minutes of silence passed.
"You know I always thought the divorce would be the worst thing to happen to us.  But this... this..." Tears began rolling down her perfect cheeks.  "You know I still don't understand you.  No one ever did, I don't think anyone was supposed to.  But I love you as much as ever."
"Shh, Greta... shh... I love you too."
"I know.  Thank you."
"What say you give me a kiss... for old time's sake."
"Now that's something that you and I both know you don't really want."

"PUMPKIN!!!  PUMPKIN!!!  PUMPKIN!!!"
"You weak son of a bitch.  You alright?"
"Yep, just needed to catch my breath."  God, I'd kill for a badass duster like the one the Sherriff sported.  "Where'd you get that coat"
"It's a duste-"
"I KNOW IT'S A DUSTER!!!"  The sherriff began cracking up.  "I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU GOT IT!"
"I'd love to tell you, but I never give up trade secrets.  Bad for business, poor policing."
"Ahh I see, you make people observe, pick them up on their own."
"You're a strange one..."